I only drink liquor
at home, in excess,
because I’m blackout
prone. I’m too proud
of forgetting I drove
and could be a murderer three
times over.
Only thing I’ve murdered
Is my innocence.
I no longer care what people think
about me spending
nights obsessing over words misunderstood,
when they’ve never read
the texts sent to point out the
misplaced significance of love.
I’m talking about
reading my Bible.
I am the most horrible
person I know.
Better me than you,
I at least know what to do.
I don’t know
when I got so high
but when I contemplate
suicide the feeling fades
into appreciation. So when
at five in the morning
the the serpent whispers,
"you are not enough,"
I renew my mind
in You.
Instead of assimilating
like The Rock
I transform like Fraser
In The Whale.
Put the pog in
The pog box
And shake it all around.
Stooping over script I get
Your perfect will,
understand the difference
between old and new, me
and Jew.
We must all obey.
I kiss
the sky and dig
backyard firepits,
knowing, I live somewhere
temporary,
temporarily insane.
But I know
Your Name,
and sleep easy.
